As you would guess, there are a lot of idiots on dating sites. I have plainly described to them what I'm looking for a guy, (specifically NO REDNECKS) and lo and behold, that's the majority of what I've been getting. I tell myself that it's okay, don't get frustrated; they just can't read. Oh yeah, and you have to be able to read and write in complete sentences as well. Call me snobby all you want. But I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who exudes EVERY pet peeve that I could possibly possess.
So, in response, I'm doing a blog series.
In my next few posts, I will be sharing with you ACTUAL messages that I receive from the most idiotic of my "suitors." And then I will proceed with an answer that I actually gave them, or one that I would have liked to give them, but didn't, because I didn't want to break their poor, simple spirits.
Please don't take offense if you're my friend and you're all of the above. I still love you, but it's merely platonic. :) So! First crazy message for the blog, but certainly not the first one I've received.
Subject: Hey cutie
How are you? I'm Mike. I like redheads myself. ;)
Ok, so it's not terrible. And definitely not the worst.
#1: I am not your "cutie." You don't refer to me by anything other than my name until we are passed the dating phase. And I use the term "we" loosely. It's called respect.
#2: If you're 10 years or older than me, I really do apologize, but it's kind of creepy to me. Maybe not when I myself am a few years older, but right now at 23, more often than not, we're in COMPLETELY different stages of life.
#3: How many times must I tell you I don't like the camo, the hunting, the chewing tobacco crap? It's written all over your profile, and you're wearing at least one piece of camo in every shot. I'm no PETA crazed cave woman, but I just don't like the idea of hunting. You can argue with me all you'd like. It's just how I feel, and it's only my opinion.
#4: Don't wink at me. You don't know me like that.
The best one I've gotten so far was a 35 year old politician who asked me if I wanted a boyfriend that could spoil me. And believe me... homeboy had to be in his 40's at the very LEAST. No, SIR, I don't want a sugar daddy. Matt Cornelson is my only sugar daddy. ;) So really, it's been a lot more fun watching how incredibly awkward and creepy these people are.
But I have met some really nice guys. Yes, I'm being careful. And I'm about as trusting as a mouse in a den of lions wanting to "play." I'm not stupid. I promise. These people are lucky if I give them my name.
"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain." - J.K. Rowling
And ladies, you NEVER know with men... ahem...
Love & stuff. :)
P.S. I'm not a snob. The site says the same things! Here's their picture...
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