Frustration to an absurd degree.

That's where I am. I understand the fact that things can't all be perfect all the time. I was doing great. Things were going great. And I was an imbecile to think that Satan wouldn't get in the way of that and kill my high.

Because, you know, he did. Damn him to Hell.

I can say that. Because he's Satan.

I think what's really getting to me is that I just don't have time. For anything. Full time student with a "part time" job [part time my-], just moved [haven't unpacked a lick], and I'm just tired. Tired of making mistakes at work, tired of all of the stuff I have to remember to do for classes because there are 23,435 on-line components I have to remember about... I forget so much because I have SO MUCH on my mind. It's a terrifying place to be right now, my mind. Not that it always hasn't been, but now the little dudes that run around in there and control everything are drowning in the tears I don't have time to cry, thus causing everything to short circuit. It's wet and electric. And salty. Tears are salty.

And can I just say that I miss my mom? Not many girls are lucky enough to have the kind of relationship with their mom like I do with mine. She's one of my best friends. I can talk to her about anything. And I do. But she's so far away now, and sometimes phone calls aren't as good as hugs. What am I talking about... it's NEVER as good as hugs.

I'd rather not discuss the problems I've been having on Tuesday nights. Let's just say I'm making an appointment with my doctor sometime SOON to up my dosage on my xanax. And get something for my acid reflux, although I'm pretty sure it's flaring up lately because of my stress. That won't be going away anytime soon, so I might as well get a prescription. I'd continue to chug Maalox, but it doesn't help and tastes like nasty.

Time to work on Psychology notes. And diagnose myself.

Long time, no blog.

[Repeat title here].


It has been. Indeed. Lots of things have happened and whatnot since last I wrote.


1. Christmas.
2. I moved out.
3. The reality of being a Pharmacy Technician. 
4. Acid reflux on the kill.
5. School Started.


First things first, shall we?


1. Christmas was alright. Spent the night with my Grammy and cousin Megan on Christmas Eve. And, as any normal person should, we went to have Chinese to dinner for this Christmas Eve. No "Fa ra ra's" unfortunately. We made Megan order some sushi because she's never had it before. Kid wants to be a culinary chef one day... she HAS to at least try sushi! And she loved it, of course. The only person I've seen but a big wad of wasabi in her mouth and not catch on fire. She liked it. Our fortune cookies came out, and Grammy says "Alright, girls, let's see what we'll be doing under the bed sheets!"


Oh my gosh, I love her so much. 


Family breakfast was the next morning with Dad's side. Papaw ended up coming for the first time in years, but it wasn't long until he was carted off to the hospital. Heart problems and other "unknown" problems. He spent about a week there and now he's home. I should check to see how he's doing...


Mom's: Christmas in Destin with ALL the kids. My three nieces, my second cousin, and my nephew. They DO NOT get along when they're all together. Bert took his position as Colonel once more and had them on a morning schedule. You get up when he's ready to start breakfast, you eat, clean up your mess, then you fold up your blankets, sheets, put those and your pillows away. Reminds me of some White Christmas quotes. Except Bert was a Colonel, not a General.


"What do you do with a Colonel when he stops being a colonel?"


Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: I got along just fine without you in the Army. 
Emma Allen: Yeah. It only took 15,000 men to take my place.


But it was a good time. Christmas was nice. Got a new camera and money and whatnot. But I miss my mom. :( Happy Birthday today, Mom. :D


2. I moved out! And moved in with some friends of a friend. Except we're pretty much friends, now, so I moved in with friends. :] Jazzy likes it, and they like him, so it's all good. I have a LOT to do in my room, fixing up-wise. I like it. Mucho freedom...when I'm not working or at school... -_-


3. I don't even want to talk about this, because my 4. acid reflux will flare up again. Moving on...


4. Pain. Lots of Pain.


5. Well, it's school. But I think I'm going to like this semester. I'll never have free time, but...you know. It'll work out.


I'm tired of typing. I should write more often.