All the Single Ladies

Okay, so I know I complain a lot about not having a significant other. About how the only "close to boyfriend" I had is now gay. And about how I've never been kissed. Oh, you haven't heard that? Well. Crawl out from under that rock.

Anyway, I'm actually glad I'm single. I think if I ever had a guy interested in me, I wouldn't know what to do. The thought freaks me out, quite honestly. I never dated as a teenager. No one was ever interested. So I don't know how to handle myself. I was thinking about this the other day, and it came to me:

Next to spiders, I am absolutely terrified of relationships.

Now, granted, I'm not making an excuse for the fact that I'm just not attractive or desirable. I'm pretty sure those are pretty good reasons I've never been in a relationship, also. But I also think I'd completely cop out if someone were to ever take interest in me. Because, like every other normal girl, I tend to catch myself day dreaming. What if I were in a relationship with this person? I'd think about it. And then completely scruntch my nose and move on. Like I'm better off without it.

It's so strange. I want, almost more than anything, to feel loved by a man, to be swept off my feet, to be so in love that I'm blinded by anything and everything bad in the world. But when I really think about it...it terrifies me.

Not to mention the fact that I want no part in the heart ache. Just getting my heart torn to pieces by guys I spill my heart out to is enough...but to be fully invested, to have actually spent time with a person, built a relationship, only to have it crumble? I can't imagine how that would make me feel. I don't even want to risk it.

And to even THINK about getting my first kiss? My God. HEAD FOR THE HILLS! RUN! DEAR GOD, SAVE THE CHILDREN!

Horrifying. I'm pretty sure that'd be one of the many things I'd eff up.

So, here's to being single. And to being content with it. There's a chance that God has a plan for me and my love life. But, you know, some people are meant to be alone. Not my first choice, but if it's the plan he has for me, then hey; I've got His Love. And that's all I should need.

Now, remind me of this next week when I'm all weepy, and I'll deny that I ever said such a thing. That's just the life of a normal girl.

I'm gonna finish school, move to New York, and then settle down with a nice Yankee. Yeah. No camoflage, no steel-toed boots, and no obnoxious, over-the-top southern accent. -sigh- Yeah. I'm sticking to that plan. :)

Suck. Suck. Suck.

Needless to say, things pretty much suck right now.

Okay, so, not so much "things" as work. Pretty much everything that COULD go wrong is happening to me or has happened to me while working there, and I'm just not sure I can handle this much pressure. Yeah. I'm saying I'm weak spirited. No one should go home crying after work because of work. Especially at least once a week. That's just ridiculous. I like most of the people. Others like to stir things up, which tends to make things worse in certain situations.

My mother wouldn't agree with me posting this, I wouldn't think. "People at work will see it." "It's not professional." You're right, Mom. But they already know what's going on. They know I'm miserable. And you know what? More than half of them hate being there, too.

Gigi's Cupcakes is hiring decorators. Do you know how much I would LOVE to have that job??? But, apparently, as my mother so delicately pointed out, I wouldn't learn as much or benefit as much from decorating cupcakes. I'd probably suck at that, too, anyway.

I'm probably going to state this in every post from now on, but I really miss my mom. This weekend she has been out of touch, working a church retreat where they can't have cell phones and stuff. Naturally, I've never needed to talk to her more.

In other news, I'm fat. I need to lose weight. Will you love me, then?

Frustration to an absurd degree.

That's where I am. I understand the fact that things can't all be perfect all the time. I was doing great. Things were going great. And I was an imbecile to think that Satan wouldn't get in the way of that and kill my high.

Because, you know, he did. Damn him to Hell.

I can say that. Because he's Satan.

I think what's really getting to me is that I just don't have time. For anything. Full time student with a "part time" job [part time my-], just moved [haven't unpacked a lick], and I'm just tired. Tired of making mistakes at work, tired of all of the stuff I have to remember to do for classes because there are 23,435 on-line components I have to remember about... I forget so much because I have SO MUCH on my mind. It's a terrifying place to be right now, my mind. Not that it always hasn't been, but now the little dudes that run around in there and control everything are drowning in the tears I don't have time to cry, thus causing everything to short circuit. It's wet and electric. And salty. Tears are salty.

And can I just say that I miss my mom? Not many girls are lucky enough to have the kind of relationship with their mom like I do with mine. She's one of my best friends. I can talk to her about anything. And I do. But she's so far away now, and sometimes phone calls aren't as good as hugs. What am I talking about... it's NEVER as good as hugs.

I'd rather not discuss the problems I've been having on Tuesday nights. Let's just say I'm making an appointment with my doctor sometime SOON to up my dosage on my xanax. And get something for my acid reflux, although I'm pretty sure it's flaring up lately because of my stress. That won't be going away anytime soon, so I might as well get a prescription. I'd continue to chug Maalox, but it doesn't help and tastes like nasty.

Time to work on Psychology notes. And diagnose myself.

Long time, no blog.

[Repeat title here].


It has been. Indeed. Lots of things have happened and whatnot since last I wrote.


1. Christmas.
2. I moved out.
3. The reality of being a Pharmacy Technician. 
4. Acid reflux on the kill.
5. School Started.


First things first, shall we?


1. Christmas was alright. Spent the night with my Grammy and cousin Megan on Christmas Eve. And, as any normal person should, we went to have Chinese to dinner for this Christmas Eve. No "Fa ra ra's" unfortunately. We made Megan order some sushi because she's never had it before. Kid wants to be a culinary chef one day... she HAS to at least try sushi! And she loved it, of course. The only person I've seen but a big wad of wasabi in her mouth and not catch on fire. She liked it. Our fortune cookies came out, and Grammy says "Alright, girls, let's see what we'll be doing under the bed sheets!"


Oh my gosh, I love her so much. 


Family breakfast was the next morning with Dad's side. Papaw ended up coming for the first time in years, but it wasn't long until he was carted off to the hospital. Heart problems and other "unknown" problems. He spent about a week there and now he's home. I should check to see how he's doing...


Mom's: Christmas in Destin with ALL the kids. My three nieces, my second cousin, and my nephew. They DO NOT get along when they're all together. Bert took his position as Colonel once more and had them on a morning schedule. You get up when he's ready to start breakfast, you eat, clean up your mess, then you fold up your blankets, sheets, put those and your pillows away. Reminds me of some White Christmas quotes. Except Bert was a Colonel, not a General.


"What do you do with a Colonel when he stops being a colonel?"


Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: I got along just fine without you in the Army. 
Emma Allen: Yeah. It only took 15,000 men to take my place.


But it was a good time. Christmas was nice. Got a new camera and money and whatnot. But I miss my mom. :( Happy Birthday today, Mom. :D


2. I moved out! And moved in with some friends of a friend. Except we're pretty much friends, now, so I moved in with friends. :] Jazzy likes it, and they like him, so it's all good. I have a LOT to do in my room, fixing up-wise. I like it. Mucho freedom...when I'm not working or at school... -_-


3. I don't even want to talk about this, because my 4. acid reflux will flare up again. Moving on...


4. Pain. Lots of Pain.


5. Well, it's school. But I think I'm going to like this semester. I'll never have free time, but...you know. It'll work out.


I'm tired of typing. I should write more often.

I Always Knew Kate Was My Fave :]

It is official: I have received the best gift in all of giftdom. The gift that gifts me with joy, the gift that gifts me with girly giggles every time I look at it.

What IS the amazing, most wonderful gift, you ask? Well, besides baby Jesus, the best gift of all is:

RONALD WEASLEY'S WAND!!!

"Holy crap" is the most appropriate reaction that I can give here, seeing as how children have access to my blog. Tears of joy wanted so desperately to spew from my eyes, but, hey, I didn't cry. But I DID hug KATHERINE ELIZABETH GATES a fierce hug, one that could have split her in half, I think. I mean, yeah, Christmas Eve is tomorrow, and Christmas day is yet to come, but I'm willing to bet that this will be the best gift I will get. [The best material gift]. SO AMAZING. 

P.S. On the way home from her house, I got pulled over for improper use of my seat belt [the guy was obviously bored and trying to meet his end-o-the-year quota]. The wand was sitting on my pillow in the seat next to me, like a royal scepter, really, and I found myself thinking..."What would Ron Weasley do?" My reasons for the "improper use" apparently weren't good enough, and he wrote me the dang ticket. Jerk. Face.

However, I am so looking forward to spending time with my family. Having a family divided is tough, and has always been tough since it happened. I have two different families to visit who have each combined with another, and they're all in different places at different times, and oh, by the way, you can add in my job that I have now just to complicate things. But I think I have things squared away this year so that I won't be in any hurry. Tomorrow I'm spending the day/night with my Grammy, who is the coolest of the cool, you absolutely have no idea. She's the one who got me hooked on coffee...at the age of 3. I can talk to her about anything. Absolutely anything. And she doesn't judge me an ounce. She's funny and wonderful and vibrant and still so young at heart. I love her so much. :] Plus, I get to share her with the best cousin ever, Megan. We're pretty much twins, just a year and a bit apart. It's odd how similar we look. I hate that I don't see her often. But I'm pretty excited to be spending some time with her. The next morning, Christmas, we'll have Christmas breakfast at Grammy's with the whole family. Then off to Dad's for their Christmas.

Then it's back to Tuscaloosa to see my Granny, Bert's mom, to see her for a bit before I go home and pack SOME MORE. Sunday morning, I load two precious little brats by the name of Carly and Taylor into the blue, now clean, 'stang, and head off towards Destin, Florida to see my MOM! :D Yay! And have my Christmas with her at the beach. And I'll also spend New Years there. 

I hoping it will be the best New Years I'll have ever had. Though...I'll probably be sketched out on and forgotten. If you knew the circumstances, it wouldn't be surprising. 

I hope you're confused. 'Cause I sure am...

THEN -deep breath- I MOVE OUT! So, needless to say, more packing. And unpacking. And crap. Before school starts. With work in between. 

I'm tired just thinking about this. 

AND scene.

I Solemnly Swear.

Nope. I'm lying. There's no possible way, Alan Mullenix, that I can go a day without posting something about pills, crazy people, or pharmacy crap. Do you realize how much I work? How crazy these people are? How many insane things happen in a week? How many STUPID people there are?

It's freaking hilarious. And I have been sent here to tell you about it.

So, yeah, first things first: my pharmacy story for the day.

"Amy!" you say, "Another one? How could there possibly be? What HAVEN'T you heard?"

Oh, my friend; you don't know the half of it.

As it is, we have a customer, an older lady, that fills her prescriptions with us. Normal, yes? I suppose. This lady is a special lady. A lady that I can't speak to without making my stomach muscles ache as I attempt to restrain myself from doubling over with laughter. The reason for this is her speaking voice. Have you ever seen Family Guy? You know, the old man? Herbert? She. Sounds. Just. Like. HIM. It's ridiculous.

Today, she comes back to the pharmacy and asks me to help her with some things that are on sale. Eye drops. Ok, well, that's in our area of "expertise," if you'd like to call it such, so I say, sure. We're dead at the moment, just a few scripts to fill and Jade and Laura were there. So she takes me to the right aisle, slowly, and I confirm the sale price. At this point, I realize who she is...I've only ever spoken to her on the phone and decided she sounded like Herbert. She asks me to then get a sale paper and read for her what CANDY is on sale. Candy. Chocolate. Whitman's, Russell Stover, Lindt, that Rocher stuff...I'm practically a professional chocolate-picker-outer. But then she finds WRAPPED ones, so we switch those out. Then she had to decide whether she wanted Nougat filled, truffles, nutty, chewy, milk chocolate, dark, crispy...I couldn't get away from her. And the more she spoke, the harder it was. THEN she asks me about lotion. Thank goodness we didn't have it. And I tried to steer her back to the Pharmacy to see if they needed help.

Man. Wow.

So yeah. I talk about Rite Aid a lot. Deal with it. I'm there 5, sometimes 6 days a week. I have no other life to talk about apparently.

I'm moving soon. Yay.

I've gone back to middle school and have a new crush. But we all know what happens with those. Not a thing. Eh. It's just as well. I don't have all that much time for a guy.

I passed my classes.

Going to Florida next week for New Years, where the only kind of kiss I'll get will be from my 17 year old cat or my nieces and nephews on the cheek. And I don't have a resolution yet. I might not have one at all. I find if I make them, I don't keep them. Haha.

Christmas is soon. I can't wait. I have no idea what I'm getting because I didn't ask for anything specific. If money, I have to get some apt stuff. I wanna camera though. D:

Hmm. I'm done.

"I'm yo pushaaaaa!"

Well. It goes without saying. Why? Because it's plastered all over Facebook, Twitter, my face, and now here...

I got my tech license!!!!

I'm just a little bit excited, I guess. No more feeling useless at work, staring at people as they wait for their meds, trying to tell them with one facial expression, "Oh, I'm standing here doing nothing because I'm not a pharmacy tech yet. It's illegal for me to touch, count, enter in, and sometimes even look at the drugs. I'm sorry...? ^_^;" Yeah, it's totally not easy to say with one look. Even Pro Hough's opera workshop for two years couldn't help me with that one. But, hey! It's all good! I got it! And I really enjoyed today. Christina showed me how to label and count and put away and mark and all that good stuff. She was really great about letting me learn and helped customers at the registers while I would finish counting or whatever I was in the middle of. I think she knew I was having too much fun. She's really great. :] As are all of the girls. I think they're all excited [relieved]. Lol.

When I got home today, however, I was a little flustered. Just trying to figure things out for Christmas while I was on the phone with my mom. It get's crazy when you have such a huge extended family that you'd like to see within a few days. Anyway, I walked in from the car, didn't see anything. Got off the phone with Mom and realized I left something in my car. I was still sour about something, my mind reeling, so I wasn't "fully present [gah, I'm itching all over thinking about this story...]. When I got to the garage door to go back in, my eye caught something on the wall, almost level to the door knob. I take one fraction of a second to realize that it's a fair sized spider in ATTACK STANCE, looking at me like it's going to take a kamikaze flight to my face and eat me whole. In one swift move, and I am not joking, I karate kick the wall, smearing it's satanic, venomous guts. I walk into the house calmly, and when I closed the door, I then realized what had just happened and had an overwhelming need to cry, or hyperventilate. Also, I nearly peed myself. I had to go lie down and watch Will & Grace for a while. Terrifying. But not as bad as when Bert killed that one spider in the garage and thousands of babies spewed out. -SHUDDER-

Here's a shot of an attack position. I'd post the picture, but I'd probably end up deleting this post...

Complete and utter terror.

Then Grandmother came home, we had pizza, enjoyed each other's company, drank coffee and played skip-bo. I've decided this will be grandmother's weekend, aside from my meeting with my potential roommates tomorrow night. Tomorrow morning/ afternoon, I'm baking with Grandmother. Something I don't think I've really ever done. Either that, or it's been a LOOOOOOONG time. :]

The surface area of an average-sized brick is 79 cm squared.