Jasper Ran Away

The little S***.

I woke up this past Saturday morning and got ready for work, as per usual on my weekends at the Aid. Jasper normally stirs when I do, and he'll watch me get ready. It's become such a normality that it didn't phase me that he wasn't there. I had to leave my room to get something from the dryer and my eyes immediately landed across the hall...at our OPEN front door.

Both Daniel and Kasey were still asleep. I ran down the hall, looked around at our big time appliances to make sure we weren't just robbed, and looked out the door. Jinx is sitting there on the porch like, "What's up? Sleep well?" I grabbed him and tossed him inside, closing the door behind me. I pretty much tear the house apart looking for Jasper before I woke up the others. All of his hiding places were empty.

As you can tell, I like to write, so long story short, Jasper was somewhere out in the wilderness, alone, scared poopless (that auto-corrected to "poodles") and declawed. And I was having a PANIC ATTACK. On my way to work, no doubt. Kasey and Daniel watched out for him while I was there.

9am to 6pm. Longest 9 hours of my life. And he still wasn't anywhere to be seen when I got home, except for a siting from my neighbor, but he let him wander off again. Which, you know, how was he supposed to know Jasper was MISSING? I walk around the neighborhood, playing music from my phone because Jazz has a strange fascination with music. Comes running to you when he hears it. But he wasn't coming around.

Eventually, Mom told me to Google "What to do when your cat runs away." And I find something that didn't exactly make me feel better. Their words are italicized. Mine are not.

The Lost Indoor Cat

As you might surmise from the above, the indoor-only cat is less well equipped to dealing with being lost than the outdoor cat. (No joke. How do you reckon?) Its territorial instincts are alive and well -- but is has no outdoor territory of its own and no actual experience with outdoor territories.  When an indoor cat "escapes" -- perhaps through an open window in pursuit of a chipmunk -- perhaps through an opening door accompanied by your attempt to stop it -- it will run some distance without thinking.  But suddenly it will realize that it's in unknown territory -- fear sets in -- and it will dash for the nearest hiding place it can see.  (Oh, yes. Very comforting. My cat is terrified. Awesome.) This despite the fact that you or your house may be clearly visible -- may even be closer than the hiding place.  The cat is terrified -- and its instincts are telling it to hide! (PERFECT!!)

Wherever it found to hide, you can be quite certain it will stay there until nightfall.  (Not what I want to hear.) Its fear is greater than the outdoor cat's because the experience is totally new to it.  After dark it may start cautiously exploring its immediate surrounds -- just as the outdoor cat did when it first ventured outside.  But it has no sense of "home" -- all of its markings are in the house, not outside.  Its instincts are telling it only to find a safer hiding place -- but that new hiding place is as likely to be farther away from home as it is to be nearer.  The indoor-only cat may eventually return on its own -- traces of your scent are outside, if not the cat's -- but it's much less certain than it was for the outdoor cat. (So, in other words, your indoor cat is pretty much SCREWED.)

At this point, I was on the steps outside, watching for him when I wasn't reading this horrible article that was stabbing me in the heart with a jagged dagger, and twisting it repeatedly. 

I'm not dramatic at all.

And then: [This time my thoughts will be in brackets. And also non-italicized.]

Finding The Cat

Start looking as quickly as possible [Oh, great. I went to work for 9 hours today. Getting a GREAT start...] -- especially for the indoor cat that has just escaped. [Oh, even better...] The cat is almost certainly very close at hand. 

• Look in, behind and under any place the cat may be hiding, starting right from the exit point -- in dense plantings, under a porch or outbuilding, in an outbuilding or garage.  (A cat can crawl through an incredibly small slot when it needs to.)  And don't neglect to look up, even if the cat has been declawed. [We're surrounded by effing trees. And he can climb them without claws?? WTF??]
• Softly call the cat while looking. ["And look like an idiot to your neighbors.] It's unlikely that the cat will respond [Then what the HECK is the point??]-- it's terrified of everything, including you -- but it may give a very faint reply. ["Marco...Polo..."]
• If you do locate the cat, approach it very slowly and gently -- calming the cat at the cat's pace.  Its instinct in its frightened state is to bolt if found -- even from you. [...Do you even KNOW me?]
• Try again in the evening after dark -- the cat may be coming out of hiding or a little less fearful of being found.  Use a flashlight to search all the areas you explored earlier. [I WILL find him before dark, even if I have to report a missing persons claim.]
• Put out some food and water overnight in the vicinity of the exit point -- the more pungent the food the better.  The cat may go back into hiding after eating but this will encourage it to hide nearby rather than farther away (and if the food is eaten, heighten your confidence that it is nearby.) [There's a crazy lady that puts food out for the strays at every corner. This will fail.]
• If you have (or have access to) a live trap, consider putting the food in it -- if you can trap the cat, it can't go back into hiding. [Are you freaking kidding me??]
• Place a few of the cat's indoor things (things that carry its scent -- toys, scratching post, bedding, etc.) around the yard.  These may help calm the cat and keep it near. [My neighbors would not appreciate it.]
• Contact your neighbors (all within a 3-4 house radius) to alert them that your cat is missing. [Thanks Kasey for already doing so.]
• Ask the children in your neighborhood to help find the cat -- they network well and know the "hiding places" in your neighborhood better than the adults do. [What children? I see college morons drinking their livers away.]
• Offer a modest reward -- it's not the size of the reward that matters, but the fact that you're concerned enough to pay one.  (This can be especially motivating to neighborhood children.) [I'll offer a wave of my hand and maybe a Mt. Dew from the fridge. And a small bottle of my tears. That's all I have to offer.]
• Check with persons who routinely are outside in your neighborhood -- dog walkers, joggers, postal carriers, maintenance workers (if an apartment or condominium complex), etc. [*sigh* Check.]
• Post "Lost Cat" flyers (with a photo if possible) in your immediate neighborhood and at the local pet supply stores, veterinary offices and animal shelters. 
• Place a "Lost Cat" ad in the local newspaper's classified section.  (They might place it without charge if you ask them.)  And watch that classified section to see if anyone who found your cat might be advertising that they have it. [If he's not back by Monday...]
• Has there been any construction activity in the neighborhood -- a new basement, chimney well, tool shed, etc., where the cat may be trapped? [Negatory, good buddy.]
• Don't give up.  Keep looking for at least a couple of months.  It can take that long for the cat to find its way home -- and even a declawed cat can find, hunt and scrounge enough food to survive. [MONTHS?!?!?!]

About seven bug bites later, I went inside and cried some more. Daniel woke up from his nap and sat in the living room with me silently, awkwardly. Poor guy...


But I decided to go look once more, and Jasper was just wandering around the building next door. My thoughts: What did that thing say about approaching them? Stop, drop, and roll? Oh, Run, grab, and squeeze!


I picked him up, and the little booger was purring like crazy. :) I wept tears of joy and called my mom, who then notified the World. 


And Jasper has been trying to get back outside ever since. -_-

Baby Jasper : 8 weeks

Big Boy Jasper : 2 & 1/2