Beans, Beans, They're Good For Your Heart...

It's mornings like this that show how motivated a person I am. I have an 8am Bio Lab. I'm anal about time (thanks, Bert) and like to leave the house around 7:30. That's late for me...normally I have to leave the house at least 45min before. But I'm trying to be a normal person. So much for that.

I woke up at about 7:19. Still walked out the door at around 7:33. Interestingly enough, I had had a nightmare-ish dream just before I woke up about being late for class. It also involved me using the bathroom in front of a restaurant. Like...the bathroom had no walls inside this place. It was awkward.

But when I got to Bio Lab, I found out we were going to get to play with beans. BEANS, BEANS, the special BEANS. And lentils. If you have picked them out again in two hours time, you may go to the ball with us.

It was an experiment on preditors. We had this black mat that was...what is it called...-googles floor mats- I don't know. They have all these plasticy loops instead of carpet crap. ANYWAY, we had to count out 100 red beans, 100 white beans, and 100 black beans.

I count my beans like I count my pills.

Each of us in our group had to get a fork or a knife. And we had to pick up as many beans as we could, one at a time, in 30 seconds. And, oh by the way, we were competing. Our GTA said, by all means, knock the effing beans off your group mates' utensils.

Ever seen a bean fly? Maybe.

Ever seen HUNDREDS fly at one time? Hah. I doubt it.

It was epic. And I was top preditor. I AM Lord of the Beans.

I feel like I don't want to sleep lately. I just want to stay up and...well, not sleep. I think I'm going to go to Wal-Mart after this post.

Parallel parking is hard.

I wanted to eat my feelings today, but I didn't have time. Lucky.

My nose keeps running. I hate spring. And I loathe the color yellow.

Amy/ Amwa

That's what I've been hearing all week. "AMY, do this!" "AMWA, take me to do that!!" Two nieces, one nephew, and my cousin's two daughters have been at my mom's place this week for their spring break, too. I could tell you that I was forced to babysit, unwillingly, but that would be a lie. I kind of like kids a lot, most of the time, and it makes me happy to see them happy. So, Aunt Amy has to be all cool and make the kids' day. It's what I do. It's how I roll.

By the way, you're probably wondering what the heck an Amwa is. It's some magical word that my Taylor and Carly came up with a couple of years ago. No questions were asked. It was accepted and it stuck. It's pronounced "Aim-wa." Wa as in "wand." Amwa.

These kids are freaking hilarious when they're not being completely obnoxious.

Carly likes to set up her own Massage salon, and she makes up a "menu" and everything. Prices to follow. And they're real prices. I signed up for a back massage tonight...

Me: Carly...did you just toot??

Carly: -giggles- Yes...

Me: Ew, CJ! I did not order that!!

Carly: -still giggling- I just did it again!

Me: CARLY!!

Matthew is one funny kid, too. He's ALL boy, so it's kind of alarming when he walks around in my mom's bathing suit, puts on my niece's bras and runs around the house, puts on MY deodorant...

Matthew: Hey, Aunt Amy! I put on some of your stuff!

Me: My stuff? What stuff?

Matthew: Your orange deodorant!

Me: You put on my deodorant?!?

Matthew: Yeah! I like it! It smells like fruit salad!!!

It was funny then, but not so much when he did it the next morning. I had to hide it from him because he kept putting it on. He's 9, by the way... which alarmed me even still tonight when I found that someone had been in my makeup..

Me: Okay, Taylor, Carly, Lauren, Micah!! Have you been in my makeup?!

All: No.

Me: O_o

I go to look for Matthew, and I see a little light and hear some mumbling coming from the closet. Matthew is standing in the closet with his DS, playing a game.

Me: ...Matthew... have you been playing in my makeup?

Matthew: No...-looks away-

Me: Matthew...-grabs his face- Have you been playing in my makeup? What's all over your face??

The kid is as dark as you can get, being Caucasian. I'm about as white you can get. It's not difficult at all to see the ivory foundation splotched all over his face.

Matthew: Okay, fine, I guess I shouldn't lie...

I just had to walk away, I couldn't hold in the laughter any longer. Thing is, he just doesn't think anything about it. He's as much as a boy as you can ever get. He's just goofy. But it makes for great stories.

I have some other exciting things to talk about in my next blog when I'm home and Taylor isn't bugging the heck out of me to borrow my computer and to sign her up for a blog I know she's never going to write in. She has to be just like me. I don't blame her. -hair toss-

Haven't You Heard the Rumor?

It's stuck in my head. Adele's a musical genus.

We're going to pretend that the time between 8 o'clock am and 3 o'clock pm yesterday just didn't happen.

And now I'm pretty annoyed. As you may have seen on my status, Canadians are petitioning to make the highland bagpipes as their official, national musical instrument. Okay, first of all, who the heck has a national musical instrument?? Second of all, those of you who are hating on me because I'm offended for the Scottish, get over yourselves. I don't care if they were originally Asian or whattheheckever, but the Scottish are who have made it popular to me. The Scottish themselves could probably care less. But I care. You probably had to Google it to even know it was Asian anyway.

If you're going to intentionally make me feel like a moron, then have the decency to message me in private. It's called tact.

I deleted the comments. I feel better now.

In case you haven't realized, I'm a very insecure, emotional person. I don't even like to call it emotional... I am passionate. I have had one of the worst weekends/ beginning to the week I have ever had. I'm very easily angered right now.

This is my plea to you: Lay off. This is what makes it polite: Please.

And now I don't even feel like I should be happy about this now because I feel so freaking worthless, but I've lost 5 pounds since last Wednesday. However, it could solely be due to the fact that Mom's scale and the Rec's scale aren't in sync. Completely possible. And probably the cause of the loss. I went to work out in the exercise room that Mom and Bert have access to at the condo. Either their equipment is much harder than the Rec's, or my body knows I'm on vacation and is protesting. But I got through at least a little bit. And I swam today.

And I laid out. O_O Know this, however: Fair-skinned lasses lay out to get freckles. Not tans.


Yesterday AFTER said time that does not exist, I did some headshots for my sister-friend. Isn't she lovely??

Don't judge me. I had a dinky little cannon and not much experience. But Kate asked me to do it, and I could NOT give up the opportunity to experiment with the camera and take pictures of such a gorgeous lady. She's one of my favorites. And I hope there were some photos she could actually use for headshots. I'm definitely no Kayla Cille. She's an amazing, artistic photographer.

Tomorrow's my day. St. Patrick's Day. Try not to ruin it for me, hmm?

Selfish Reasons

Well, as soon as I spoke, I looked and saw that I now have 10 followers!!

Thank you, April Huggins, for making this dream possible. ;)

First of all, I want to thank everyone for their feedback. Loved the tips from my sister red, Rachel R. and also Holly J. And many, many thanks to Ashley and Pam for their encouraging words. It helps more than you know.

Second of all, I want to apologize. I hope that my past posts didn't make it seem that I hate myself. Or that I'm doing this weight loss business for someone else. That's completely not the case. I feel horrible at the weight I am right now. And I just keep gaining. I can't allow that to happen. I can't keep doing this to myself when I know that there's something that can work for me, and knowing that there are things I like to eat that won't, well, kill me.

Okay, so yeah, I talk about the "boy" thing. The fact that I still haven't had my first date or my first kiss, and I'm 22. Soon 23, mind you. I'm not doing this for whatever guy might be out there for me, but you've got to admit, it will certainly help. I mean, let's be honest...I'm sure someone would have at least given me a chance if I wasn't the size I am. That's just life. It sucks, heck yes...but that's America for you.

I want to be able to feel well. I want to be able to find clothes. I want to be able to be proud of myself for something. This is what I'm doing for myself. If it happens to help with other issues, then praise Jesus.

In other news, I just burned the HECK out of my tongue on hot soup, and I have a lie bump under my tongue in the very back. My mouth is holding a pity party. And I'm sorry, but you're not invited. That would be awkward.

Nothing interesting happened today. Work was slow. Finished scanning DPCs!! So, that was happy.

I didn't exercise today, though...-hangs head- But I was on my feet from 9 to 6, and my feet are KILLING ME. It'll be daylight longer tomorrow, so more time to walk outside. Because, you know what? The Rec's Spring Break schedule is RIDICULOUS. They're open during the times I work and that's about it. They should be there to serve me! No SB for YOU!!! >:(

Totes joking.

This is Hard

It took all I had to drag my big behind to the Rec yesterday. And I'm having a really hard time finding foods that are low in points, but also filling. At this point, I don't even WANT to eat, so it's not the fact that I'm some fat girl that wants some food. My stomach screams at me because it's hungry, and I scream right back at it. But then it does this "Woe is me! I'm so weak! I shall make your limbs shake with weakness! I shall grant you with a brain twisting headache! Wah! Woe!" We're not friends right now, needless to say.

So if you have ideas of filling foods, please be a dear and let me know.

I did not want to go work out yesterday. At all. I wanted to eat eat eat because my stomach was insatiable. But I went to the Rec. I did not eat more than what my points allowed. And I have already lost two pounds since Wednesday when I weighed. Two pounds in a day? I can dig it.

I WILL be thin by the time my first ever date comes around. And if you're reading this, I'm kind of excited, by the way. Don't forget me.

I only did the elliptical instead of that and the bike, too. I was so blah. But I went backwards the last tenth of a mile, and it hurt so good. It was HARD. I'm going to try to do more each time. It really works out the thigh area. You just have to get passed that screaming as well.

When I got home, Liz and Aubrey were having this clothes buying party, and they had snacks and cookies, and cakes and all kinds of stuff there. I grabbed a large plate of fruit and made my way to my room, away from temptation...

Today was great. Found out at work that I only have to work til Tuesday, and then I'm off the rest of Spring Break! YAY!!! I GET TO GO SEE MY MOM IN DESTIN!!!!! :) Christina, you're my hero, and I love you forever and ever! Thank you for giving me an amazing schedule!

It was really pretty outside today, so I went home after work, had some lunch, took about an hour nap or so, and went walking in River Road Park with my thither, Kate, to catch up, exercise, and whatnot. It was pretty much glorious. Then we went to pick up some fruit from Publix and went to Molpage's house to watch First Wives Club and Monty Python. The night involved a narrow escape from water chestnuts, but I survived. Praise Jesus!

Now I'm blogging. And talking to Alan about how I'm going to become famous for my blog. I'm not so sure that 9 followers equals fame.

Lame.

Last Day

Alright. I'm already tired of doing this 30 day challenge thing. I'm going to use it more as guide lines now. If I can't think of anything to write, then I'll just refer to the list. 

I've noticed lately that I have three new followers, for a total of 9! This is...improvement...? So, welcome to my blog. I'm strange. I'm emotional. I am me. So, enjoy, Donna, J.J. & Jacob. 

How much you want to bet they'll never realize they're mentioned in one of my posts? Because I don't plan on posting this one on FB. So, just for kicks and giggles, comment on this post when you realized you were mentioned. 

I'm not entirely sure what that will prove, but whatever.

Today was nothing special. Woke up, went to class, worked out, went to class for a midterm I feel pretty good about, then home for a nap, then church. Sang one of my favorites for the Ash Wednesday service, Restore My Joy. Beautiful piece. The composer's name isn't coming to me at the moment.

Now I have to study for Psychology. 

...And mentally prepare myself to practically move in to the pharmacy for Spring Break. Yeah, you enjoy your time off and your LAST MINUTE beach trips. I won't be getting any. 

My Lenten Promise

That will hopefully be a lifetime promise.

I am promising to no longer eat my feelings (and try not to speak them either). When my feelings are hurt, when my heart's broken, when I'm so angry I can eat a whole box of mac&cheese, I will refrain from doing so, and instead, I will put on my socks and shoes and drive over to the Rec to "work it out." Or even just around my apartment complex. I will stick to my WW and I have sworn off soft drinks. And, as much as I hate to say it, sweet tea.

This is where I need your help: BE MEAN TO ME. If you see me eat something that probably looks more than 10 points or is overall unhealthy, just say "Amy, that's going to make you FAT(TER)." Or "I thought your butt was big enough already...You don't need the help!" I won't get mad. I won't get sad. I will simply respond. "You're right! Thanks!" And I'll be on my way.

If you see a soft drink in my hand because I "had a craving," TAKE IT AWAY.

Get me a carrot cake for my birthday. Made entirely out of CARROTS. Or broccoli.

"Mmm...what a delicious carrot cake..." O_o

It may sound like I'm joking. But I'm totally not. Help me be accountable for myself. I mean, be nice about it if you want, but make sure it's affective.

Kate: No more church dinners for me. DON'T LET ME DO IT. And no more Swen. Unless you see that I can provide you with WW point proof, complete with internet sources. 

Gigi: Your cupcakes can easily be associated with Mt. Doom. Quite frankly, you don't need to put that huge glob of icing on your cupcakes. I only eat them because of the cake, anyway. Point being, the day I came with Elizabeth after lunch to try your PB cupcake was the last time. If you see this person come in your bakery, turn them AWAY.

also...

Lawson: My dear, sweet Lawson...There will be no more runs to China Garden for me. If that's even the name... But we will paint, soon! And I will bring an apple! :)

Emily: Applebee's only from now on, Em. I'm afraid if we take our little dinner/movie dates to Mexican restaurants, I'll only eat my weight in chips & salsa, and then continue with cleaning my dinner plate. Can't happen anymore. Applebee's got dat WW menu!! Oh, and I love you. I'm glad you're back in my life. :)

Help me out here, Florence...

Exodus 15:2 "The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my father's God, and I will exalt him."