Moon Child

Alright, so, I've never put much stock in Zodiac. Ok, I've never put ANY stock in it. I always let Kasey read my horoscope to me from her phone after she reads hers and make fun of the fact that it calls me "Moon Child," but within the last couple of weeks, I started following The Official Cancer Page on Twitter. Just for sh*ts and giggles. 

Whoever manages that page has first hand access to the very depths of my being. I'd say "soul," but I'm a redhead, and everyone knows we don't have those. Anyway, it creeps me out.

The things The Official Cancer Page tweets are terrifyingly accurate. Naturally, I'm going to follow this up with a few examples. , so, I've never put much stock in Zodiac/horoscope-ness. Ok, I've never put ANY stock in it. I always let Kasey read my horoscope to me from her phone after she reads hers and make fun of the fact that it calls me "Moon Child," but within the last couple of weeks, I started following The Official Cancer Page on Twitter. Just for sh*ts and giggles. 

Whoever manages that page has first hand access to the very depths of my being. I'd say "soul," but I'm a redhead, and everyone knows we don't have those. Anyway, it creeps me out.

The things The Official Cancer Page tweets are terrifyingly accurate. Naturally, I'm going to follow this up with a few examples. 

Completely true. I was just telling my pharmacist today, that peoples' moods influence my own. If he gets stressed and starts to panic on a busy night, I'll more likely than not follow suit. I wish I didn't, but I do. And I promise, it's annoying. (Also, it's #cancers "don't," but we'll ignore that. ;])

This is extremely true. I get so worried/anxious that I get physically sick. Even with the smallest things.

Yep. I was one of the very FEW kids in school that hid under the lunchroom tables and wanted to vomit during school fights. Even now, when I see them on tv or YouTube (ex: the Waffle House video) I get absolutely sick to my stomach when I know something bad will happen. 

Just ask, well, all of my friends. I don't like to go out to bars or whatever. I like to spend time at home 90% of the time. And, uh... yeah... I'm moody, for sure.

Um, pfhahdfjdwfej! BINGO.

I'm sure this goes for many, cancers or no, but still very true.

Paranoid. One of the exact words I use to describe myself. This couldn't be any more accurate.

Always.

HAHA! Guilty! My mother can attest... 

Friends always come to me with advice. Even with things I've never even experienced, aka relationships. And I'm always willing to help. 

This goes for Cancers AND redheads. Double threat. Double the unhappiness. #watchit 

TRUTH. Unless you're Canadian, apparently... -looks at Sarah guiltily, yet appreciatively all the same-

Yep. Uh huh. Definitely. See? It creeps me OUT. 

All the time. I hate asking for things. Hate. It. I also can't tell a guy I like him very easily, though that whole "saying without speaking" thing gets me in trouble there, but the rejection is always the same. Don't deal with it well AT ALL.

Not to toot my own horn, but uh... -hair toss- Duh. ;)

I have about a million story plots rotting in my brain. And I daydream constantly. Which is why I'd like to be on Adderall/Vyvanse, Mom... #cantfocus

Yes, yes, a MILLION times, yes. I can't help it. If it doesn't feel right, I can't do it. No sparks, no go. 

Could not have said it better about myself. I just need "Somebody to LOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Thanks, Freddie M. for that 1 second of inspiration.

Well, yeah! ;) 

Accurate.

This list could last forever. I'm just saying that maybe... well... Maybe the Horoscope deal isn't so stupid. I'm not saying I'm going to worship it by any means, but dang; that's some pretty spot on stuff. I love it. 

Anyway, I just thought I'd share. And maybe this will get me a shout out. Oh, wait, my Twitter's protected... buh.

Episode Two: The Dating Game

Okay, so this one I HAD to share. At the end of Daniel's recital rehearsal, I got this message from an individual on Plenty of Fish. I literally doubled over in laughter. Oddly enough, I didn't find it offensive at all. It was just freaking hilarious.


Subject: I don't think you look fat.


And Gingers are the best.


Also, I can't even express how cool it is that you're on a paranormal investigation team.


Alright. Kudos for using punctuation and knowing how to capitalize letters. But, man! That subject line! HAHA!!! That is the BEST worst pick-up line I have ever heard in my life. I'm still laughing!


Lol, ooohhhh, that's rich. xD And yeah. I'm a B.A. investigator. Thank you for noticing. :)


Haha... I don't think you look fat...xD xD xD

The Quite Amusing "Dating Game"

Within the last week, I have taken it upon myself to sign up for a dating site. No, I'm not desperate, and no, I'm not looking for anyone to jump out and be "the one." Because, let's face it, that's stupid and unrealistic. But since I'm not a big bar/club person, I figure it's just another way to get myself out there, and to SEE what's out there. As much as I love my guy friends, the majority of them don't bat for my team, so one must take certain measures, though neither drastic or desperate.


As you would guess, there are a lot of idiots on dating sites. I have plainly described to them what I'm looking for a guy, (specifically NO REDNECKS) and lo and behold, that's the majority of what I've been getting. I tell myself that it's okay, don't get frustrated; they just can't read. Oh yeah, and you have to be able to read and write in complete sentences as well. Call me snobby all you want. But I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who exudes EVERY pet peeve that I could possibly possess.


So, in response, I'm doing a blog series.


In my next few posts, I will be sharing with you ACTUAL messages that I receive from the most idiotic of my "suitors." And then I will proceed with an answer that I actually gave them, or one that I would have liked to give them, but didn't, because I didn't want to break their poor, simple spirits.


Please don't take offense if you're my friend and you're all of the above. I still love you, but it's merely platonic. :) So! First crazy message for the blog, but certainly not the first one I've received.


Subject: Hey cutie


How are you? I'm Mike. I like redheads myself. ;)


Ok, so it's not terrible. And definitely not the worst.


#1: I am not your "cutie." You don't refer to me by anything other than my name until we are passed the dating phase. And I use the term "we" loosely. It's called respect.


#2: If you're 10 years or older than me, I really do apologize, but it's kind of creepy to me. Maybe not when I myself am a few years older, but right now at 23, more often than not, we're in COMPLETELY different stages of life.


#3: How many times must I tell you I don't like the camo, the hunting, the chewing tobacco crap? It's written all over your profile, and you're wearing at least one piece of camo in every shot. I'm no PETA crazed cave woman, but I just don't like the idea of hunting. You can argue with me all you'd like. It's just how I feel, and it's only my opinion.


#4: Don't wink at me. You don't know me like that.


The best one I've gotten so far was a 35 year old politician who asked me if I wanted a boyfriend that could spoil me. And believe me... homeboy had to be in his 40's at the very LEAST. No, SIR, I don't want a sugar daddy. Matt Cornelson is my only sugar daddy. ;) So really, it's been a lot more fun watching how incredibly awkward and creepy these people are.


But I have met some really nice guys. Yes, I'm being careful. And I'm about as trusting as a mouse in a den of lions wanting to "play." I'm not stupid. I promise. These people are lucky if I give them my name.


"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain." - J.K. Rowling


And ladies, you NEVER know with men... ahem...


Love & stuff. :)


P.S. I'm not a snob. The site says the same things! Here's their picture...